Darryl Strawberry Not Actually A Strawberry

Harvard University revealed the shocking news yesterday, declaring Darryl a “human” with very little berry qualities.

​

“Although the former Mets star is very sweet , he is not a strawberry- or any berry, for that matter” said Peter O’Shaughnessy, head of berryology.

​

Harvard admitted that the perceived usage of this information is murky at best, but stands by their decision to use $13 billion investigating the matter.